I was sitting in a McDonalds in Las Tablas drinking a Coke and charging my phone, trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the day after getting off my bus unexpectedly due to a food poisoning incident. Having visited Playa Venao in the south, I figured I should see the Caribbean coast of Panama as well. While alternately running to the bathroom and scanning Google for beaches, I saw the word “pirating area” and became excited. Without further thought I grabbed my bag and began my journey towards this pirate-y place: Portobelo.
The trip required boarding a bus to Colon, which is, allegedly, the only/most dangerous place in Panama City. Seemed fine. I got off at the Sabanaitas streetcorner and stood among the filth/exhaust/masses waiting for chicken buses to arrive. A million people jammed in, and as we bumped along the windy roads things got increasingly weird. After touching 55+ strangers I eventually got a seat…right next to another foreign person. Said person was gripping a hideous painting of a tropical bird tightly across his chest. He then started praying loudly while still gripping the painting. Shortly thereafter he threw money out the window into a field. I cannot make this stuff up.
Upon arrival I was starving as I had not eaten (what else is new), so I went to the first restaurant in town. For some reason I was struggling to understand anyone’s Spanish, and repeatedly failed to comprehend the menu. Eventually I abandoned my efforts and pointed to what the man next to me had, which appeared to be hot dogs and friend dough.
Despite its history, the town was weirdly devoid of any information, or obnoxious pirate-themed items. It also was not nearly as alarming as the Tripadvisor reviews may have indicated…(I don’t usually read reviews but found this very amusing).
Abandoned [Pirate] Forts!
There are two glorious, crumbling forts on the coast, which the pirates (Captain Morgan, to be specific) plundered. They are somewhat in ruins now, but the cannons are still there and you can walk around freely. It was only a tad sketchy at dusk.
Black Christ of Portobelo
Portobelo’s claim to fame is the Black Christ. According to some legend, the statue was spotted floating in the water by a fisherman, and it now lives in the Iglesia de San Felipe.
Portobelo Around Town
The town was small, so it was easy to explore it all on foot in a couple or hours. Here’s what I saw:
Parts of the town were built right onto the water, and had an island vibe, which makes sense given Portobelo’s location on the Caribbean coast.
Isla Grande
After Portobelo I set off on the local bus to visit some of the island(s). Unfortunately, the bus was on a very…limited…schedule. I wound up waiting on the side of the road for several hours, alongside a growing group of irritated locals. Once onboard, I witnessed some casual drug dealing. A man kept looking around uneasily and constantly, then throwing packages of unknown items wrapped in black t-shirts and plastic bags out the windows as we drove past select towns. The introduction was fitting, as Isle Grande was not as expected either.
Although these photos make it look pretty, it had a nefarious undertone and the town – accessible by a small boat only – was basically deserted. Needless to say I decided not to stay overnight, and wound up hopping another boat/bus out of there shortly after arrival.