I had been trying to go to El Paredon for a while. My past 2 trips to Central America I didn’t quite make it, so I was determined to go this time around. I headed straight there as my first stop, lest I get distracted or delayed.
El Paredon, what can I say? It’s my new favorite beach place – and maybe place at large – in Central America (Sorry, San Juan del Sur). There’s just something about the remoteness, laid-back atmosphere, and the fact there is really not anything to do that made me fall in love with it.
Also, it’s not overrun with people and there are abandoned buildings. I mean, come on.
Experiences in El Paredon
So what did I do for a week in El Paredon given most people go to surf, but I am not good at surfing and the conditions were way too rough to attempt? Here’s what.
El Paredon Day 1: Trespassing in Abandoned Buildings
I love abandoned places, so I was beyond thrilled that El Paredon was full of left-behind houses, buildings, and even the odd hotel. I spent hours and hours exploring to see what I could find.
See amazing photos of abandoned stuff in El Paredon →
El Paredon Day 2: Throwing Up at 3am in Shared Hostel Bathroom
One of my favorite parts of El Paredon is all the little restaurants in the town. The owners are friendly and the food exceptionally good. Breakfast is the best, and generally enough food to last you all day [if you’re a cheap person that doesn’t eat a ton like me]. It’s pretty standard – eggs, beans, tortillas, creme, and maybe some plantains or avocado. While dining at my favorite place, I determined it was a good idea to drink the juice. which was really just unfiltered water with fruit in it. It was not a good idea. I was exceptionally ill in the night (always fun in a shared, open-air hostel bathroom). But I forced myself to go back a day later to get over it. I did not drink the juice that time and everything was fine.
El Paredon Day 3: Man Proclaims Love on Loudspeaker in Front of Bakery (Sipacate)
I ventured to Sipicate, a larger town across the river accessible by a boat. I planned to walk the 1.25 hours from the dock to town, but given the shoreline was roped off with barbed wire and I couldn’t walk along the beach I wound up taking a tuk-tuk (not ideal for my budget). There was nothing particularly outstanding about Sipicate, but it was a nice venture from the beach – and chance to buy cheaper groceries. I had a meal, and later a beer from one of the beer halls lining a particulair street. They were all blaring loud music, their entrances shrowded in dirty curtains, and I questioned if it was acceptable for me to go inside. I went inside.
My favorite hall’s name was Cervecería la Ultima y Nos Vamos (the last one and we leave), but I chose to go to Cerveceria Katy, obviously. Of course, there were no other foreigners in Sipacate at this time so a great deal of people looked at me weird / said “hello” / attempted to converse. The harassment reached an all-time high when I was walking back, and a man making promotional announcements outside the bakery used his unbelievably loud loudspeaker to profess his love to me. And the entire street.
El Paredon Day 4: Decide to Move into Hostel Permanently (Later Reconsider)
My love for El Paredon reached an all time high and I determined that probably, I should sell my possessions (again) and move into my hostel bungalow semi-permanently. It definitely felt like my home by mid-week. Later, in a more reasonable move, I decided perhaps I would come back again a few times before doing this…
El Paredon Day 5: Discover Vile Vials of Blood on the Beach
The beach in El Paredon is dirty, as in full of trash. An alarming amount of trash. So much trash, in fact, it encouraged me to watch a documentary about said trash. Turns out, one of the most polluted rivers in the world is in Guatemala (not the river nearby El Paredon, though; Motagua on the Caribbean side).
Of course I have picked up trash on the beach many times, but it’s not every day you find numerous syringes and vials of blood. A hospital upstream apparently dumps (or used to dump, not clear) their waste in the nearby river that leads into the ocean. There is also an abnormal number of toothbrushes and shoes, which I learned is because the lighter items (ie plastics) float and make their way back to shore. Heavier items sink, and biodegradable items…mix into the water.
El Paredon Day 6: Assist Baby Sea Turtles to Ocean and Feel Strongly. Learn 999 per 1,000 will Die
Poaching is legal in Guatemala. Poachers are allowed to poach 80% of the eggs from any given turtle nest. They sell the eggs to eat and allegedly for use as an aphrodisiac. This is bad. Well, maybe it is good for those who ingest the eggs for aphrodisiac purposes, but it’s bad for the turtles. Especially given that only 1 in 1,000 sea turtle eggs survive naturally!
In any case, one hostel has a program which supports the turtles. They buy back poached eggs from the poachers on the black market, then plant them in the protected hatchery above. You can go in the morning (September-December) to see the literally just-hatched baby turtles (!!!) and watch them make their way to sea. Warning: you may also see them attacked by natural predators and/or falling into crab holes and/or drowning, thus impacting your experience.
El Paredon Day 7: Re-Explore Town, Observe Casual Pig Slaughter
I explored the town a good amount, and on the last day made one final venture. The internet tells me 2,000 people live in El Paredon, so it is quite tiny. There is not much to see. But there are many chickens.
At this time I observed the pig, who had been tied up in the square all week, lying on the ground with his throat slit and a pool of blood in the dirt. Shortly thereafter, he was hung up and skinned, and people came by to purchase the meat. I may or may not have ingested this meat at breakfast.
All the Days in El Paredon
Of course, I spent a good deal of time in El Paredon on the beach watching the amazing sunrises and sunsets. El Paredon is unique in that you can watch both sunrise and sunset from the same place. If you are wondering why this is, please refer to a map.
